Ever heard the phrase, "it's lonely at the top?" It turns out, it's not merely a saying but a reality that could secretly lead to the undoing of many brilliant minds. I’m going to delve a little into why it's paramount for high-flying eagles to nest within a network of peers, like those nests that we call Tables, organised by Table Network. 

And this is not only a leaders’ issue, as it seems to apply to progression, and with the marching of time across the board. 

I recall talking on occasions with my wife about the reality that before children, environments to meet others are plentiful. While you have young kids, you make lots of friends who are parents. As your children grow up, and no longer need chaperoning, meeting people remains needed, but less happens by accident and it must be embraced as an intentional pursuit. 

Often when we have a good long term friend group, we don’t need to add many more, but in business a peer group is useful, and can be incredibly powerful. As we climb our ladder of success we can find ourselves isolated. We find ourselves alone at the top. 

For ideas on a topic of discussion as essential as the English cuppa - the isolation found at the very top of the business mountain - grab that aforementioned cuppa, and read on. 

The Irony of Isolation in a Hyperconnected World

We live in an age of unparalleled connectivity. In fact, at the risk of sounding like a tour guide from the future, we've woven ourselves into a grand, intricate web of connections, courtesy of technology. From the insistent pinging of social media notifications to the ceaseless flow of emails, our world has never been more 'connected.' 

69% of adults, according to a Pew Research study, are frolicking in the virtual playground of not social media, but Facebook alone. Yet, a shocking 50% of CEOs surveyed by the Harvard Business Review reported feelings of isolation. 

Isn't it a bit bizarre that we live in a world where your grandmother sends emojis, yet the power players in business feel isolated? 

The captains of industry, those sitting in the crow's nest of this vast ship called commerce, often find themselves rather alone. Instead of creating an omnipresent community, the digital age has ironically cocooned top-tier leaders in a sort of virtual solitary confinement. 

Quite the paradox! 

The Weight of Decision-Making

“The higher you go in the organisation the less truth you hear” -Irfan Mamoun, radiologist. 

This statement is so profound I was tempted to use it as the title of this piece. Ironically, the sister of this statement can be - early on in an organisation, the less truth you want to hear - the cruel twists of fate being as they are. 

From decisions as monumental as strategic pivots to those as mundane as approving budgets, leadership is a ceaseless carousel of choices. Now, as you might imagine, the very nature of decision-making has a rather alienating quality. The sheer act of decision-making can drive a wedge between leaders and their employees, causing a rift harder to mend than a Beatles breakup. This emotional distance can turn into a lack of empathy, a dangerous trap. 

Picture this: our gallant leader steps onto a metaphorical balcony to ponder over the business landscape below. Decisions must be made, and they must be made alone. As the eternally effervescent Richard Branson advises, "Surround yourself with people who complement your weaknesses & share your passions."

The truth is, with a nod to Irfan, the higher up you go, the less you hear the truth, and while being a better employer, CEO or leader helps, the problem is often not easily solved. 

Decision-making is rather like erecting a fortress of solitude around yourself. With every decision, the moat widens, isolating the leader from the rest of their employees. A touch melodramatic, perhaps, but the weight of solitary decision-making is very much a reality both because of what is felt by the leaders and by their employees. 

I think that if we translate Branson’s comment to talk about who we should meet and spend time with, we need to surround ourselves with people who 

• aren’t afraid to tell us “No”. 
• can offer a diverse viewpoint. 
• understand and believe in what we’re doing. 

The Antidote to Isolation

The delightful irony of the situation is this: while leaders might feel adrift from their workforce, they can find a lifeboat in the sea of solitude in the form of their peers. Even the most sequestered of captains can find an ally, a confidante, in another captain. Imagine two stalwarts of the business world, adrift on their respective rafts of success, suddenly finding a tether in each other. 

Many people say something like "Surround yourself with people who have been there and done that." Hence the NED approach to the boardroom. I value “grey hair” immensely for mentorship, but for day to day, modern solutions, I often prefer something fresher. So I would at least join this statement with one that’s more here and now - "Surround yourself with people who are there and doing that." The strength of both statements lies in their simplicity and they both reduce to - leaders need other leaders. Who else can truly comprehend the unique trials and tribulations, the solitary victory dances, and the peculiar joys and despairs that accompany a life at the helm of a business, than those who are also going through the same? And who has the answers to today’s issues, better than those who solved the same problem just yesterday, last week or last month. 20 years ago, now seems out of date for so many of the issues we face, and especially when adapting to our future. Thus, peers emerge as a lifeline for leaders, offering camaraderie and understanding, insight and perspective.

Peer networks for business leaders (the CEO Network in the US or Table Network in the UK), like a trusty compass, can provide invaluable direction, providing a sounding board for ideas, decisions, and strategies.

The Power of Peer Networks

There is an ever-increasing amount of evidence we can learn from, that employee satisfaction is largely driven by a good boss, and that leads to increased wellbeing. As leaders, we are our own boss. We have to hold ourselves to account, and we beat ourselves up when we don’t achieve. Many of us beat ourselves up regardless. But the science behind satisfaction and wellbeing applies to us too. 

We need to create an environment, and join networks, in which we can thrive. Gatherings of like-minded leaders, much like a collection of the finest sails on a boat, will inspire, educate, speed our success, and even spur growth. And the evidence is clear. The stats behind the TableNetwork model are quite astounding – and apologies if this is becoming a pitch as I realise where this article will be posted, it’s not solely meant as such as it’s actually the significant point. 

A Harvard Business Review study from 2018 showed that the quality of the network of a CEO, on average, increased their businesses return, in comparison to those without, sixteen-fold. 16X? That’s a lot of growth to look forward to if you get it right. 

To put this in monetary terms, a good example to cite would be the sale of Eloqua to Oracle in 2012. One of the owners of Eloqua had taken the time to build good, shared value relationships with the people at Oracle. The sale went through seamlessly at $871M, a little more than twice the then market value, so the network building by the business owner earned in excess of £400M in a single transaction. 

Who wouldn’t take that deal? 

(Just in case there are any googling trolls tutting in their breath, the recent study by the NTT is about digital network maturity, so while it may appear analogous, it talks to a different subject matter.) 

In the grand tapestry of leadership, peer networks emerge as a constellation of stars, illuminating the path for those who dare to tread these solitary waters. A peer network is no less than a reservoir of shared experiences, wisdom, and insight.

The Elevation of Status through Strategic Networking

The sometimes marvellous but often hard to navigate thing about networking is that it's not just about meeting people. It's about meeting the right people. You see, it's all well and good knowing every Tom, Dick, and Harriet, but if they're not the ones who can help you take your career or business to the next level, then I'm afraid it's just a collection of pleasant acquaintances. Friends are a tertiary spin off, but the priority when networking is useful business contacts. And please don’t fool yourself into believing that tins full of business cards is a good result. There are much more efficient ways to build a mailing list.

Now please don’t take me as a cold and calculated old white male. Strategic networking does become ever more important as we ascend. Our time becomes more valuable, and we need to be mindful of this factor so we can respect our business (as it’s the one paying), our children (as they’re the ones who deserve our presence), our life partners (as they’d rather we be with them), and ourselves.

Let's turn an age-old adage on its head. "It's not just who you know, but what you know." Well, I insist it's both. Your unique knowledge paired with your connection to influential individuals can enhance your standing amongst your peers and industry bigwigs. 

A successful business is often akin to a well-tended garden. You must plant the right seeds, in this case build relevant connections, and nurture them to grow and flourish. 

And here's the, some will say wonderful, kicker! 

Networking doesn't just open the door to a plethora of connections, it ushers you into the marvellous drawing rooms of the influential. By being associated with these individuals, your credibility gets a rather nice polish. Back in the day people clambered to get a nod from the Queen - it suddenly made you a bit more noteworthy. Now, there is a clamber to become influential. The influential are rather like beacons in a dark sea, attracting others with their bright light. In a way, they have somewhat replaced HRH. Once connected with such individuals, you have access to their extensive network. It's a bit like finding a hidden tunnel that leads you directly to the heart of the city, and it increases your own influence. 

But do beware, it is a kicker, and like a hard drug, desire for it can get out of control, and when that happens, its kick can hurt. 

Building Your Network of Peers

At this point, you might be pondering, "How do I find these peer networks?" Fear not, dear reader, for options abound. Business forums, industry conferences, mentorship programs, educational companies, and round table meetings – and these are just a few routes on the networking map. Remember, variety is the spice of life, and it's also the spice of a good network. The more diverse your contacts, the richer your insights will be, like a well-prepared banquet. 

However, remember that building a network is more than just adding names to a contact list. It requires nurturing relationships, actively participating in conversations, and offering value in return. Embrace diversity within your network too; the richest insights often arise from the convergence of varying perspectives. Finally, be patient. Building a strong network of peers is a journey, not a sprint. Like a fine wine or a matured cheese, a robust network takes time to cultivate. As my mother used to say, nothing good happens overnight. 

Fostering Deeper Connections 

As we come to the end of this little escapade into the world of business leadership and the chilly winds of isolation, I ponder a question: How might your own professional journey be enriched by fostering deeper connections with your peers?

While the burden of leadership can be a bit like trekking through the desert, a strong network of peers can be the oasis you seek. TableNetwork provides the ideal environment for us, the leaders, to connect with peers who understand our struggles and challenges, and to leverage their knowledge to help us succeed. Business leaders not only alleviate feelings of isolation, but also glean valuable insights and foster personal and professional growth. Plus long term friendships are made. 

However you leverage your network, whether you are a seasoned executive or an aspiring entrepreneur, remember to extend a hand towards your fellow leaders. After all, even the most proficient skier, gourmand, or musician can benefit from the camaraderie and wisdom of their peers.

Ed Fowkes

June 2023